Emily Cross is the mastermind behind Cross Record, a music project based in the UK. On her new album, Crush Me, Cross takes you through the gothic corridors of her mind, exploring themes of existence and the emotions that come with it. Working full-time in the funeral industry, Cross crafts a sound that is gentle yet dark – a reflection of the shadows she navigates emotionally. Crush Me marks her fourth album, released six years after her 2019 record, with its narratives turning increasingly inward compared to her previous projects.
“I Can Lie” introduces the album’s atmosphere with a spacey, soft sound that carries a subtle haunting quality while maintaining an emotional edge. Accompanied only by a slow-strumming guitar and atmospheric noises, Cross’s vocals anchor the track, grounding an otherwise boundless soundscape. The wobbly piano in “Rolling Backwards” draws you further into the depths of the record. Similar to the preceding track, it maintains a stripped-down sound, taking its time to evolve. Cross shifts seamlessly between spoken word, stream-of-consciousness musings, and crooning. In “Charred Grass,” sultry vocals accompany a more uplifting composition. The repeated mantra, “I feel real,” paired with imagery of spiders, suggests that even the faintest sense of feeling can be welcome when combating the disassociation born of emptiness.
“Right Thing By Me” returns to an extremely minimalist, stripped-back approach. This track feels as if it was once conceived as a fully fleshed-out song, but was carefully refined – like an ice sculpture – until only its bare essence remained. The subsequent track, “Dorset Area of Natural Beauty,” layers wobbly organ sounds alongside flickers of laughter, creating an atmosphere slightly reminiscent of a circus or a hall of mirrors. The cacophonous laughter feels less unsettling than one might anticipate; instead, it evokes a sense of camaraderie, as though it laughs with you rather than at you. The longest song on the album, it transitions midway from an eerie guided tour into a beautifully sung, meditative piece, where deep, teetering synths lead the charge.
“Cutting A Cake” continues to build the immersive atmosphere the album has been gradually constructing. This track delves into the concept of embracing peaceful moments, viewing them as neither inherently good nor bad. This philosophy aligns with the “noting technique” used in meditation, which guides individuals to observe thoughts as they pass without judgment. The song’s sonic depth creates a boundless space, reflecting this contemplative and present state. Finally, the production on “Led Through Life” evokes a moment of clarity, marking the transition between the first and second halves of the album.
“God Fax” has one of the coolest and most interesting productions on the album. Through stereo-centric production (headphones recommended), you are immersed in a well of vocal sounds. It emulates the experience of being lost in thought, deciding whether to navigate through the noise or succumb to it. There’s a sense of detachment and hope for finding an answer – whether it comes from within or beyond the self. In “Pearl Through the Funnel,” we see more of Cross’s talent for imagery and the next step in the apparent self-actualization process we’ve been following. The polyphonic shift towards the end of the song, with the layered lyrics “time is a spiral, I hang upside-down,” offers yet another encapsulating glimpse into Cross’s psyche as she unravels.
The title track, “Crush Me,” is a continued march into the darkness, as the backing train whistles propel the procession of drums and music forward. The song is about embracing pain and accepting that it is unavoidable – it will inevitably catch up to you. “Twisted Up Fence” concludes the album with a sound that is moodier yet calm. Cross leans deeply into her lyricism and metaphorical imagery, which dominate this track. From the opening line, “your hair, a dusty crow, caught up in flight, weighed down by soul,” we are instantly given a vivid mental picture and atmosphere. The imagery of “there is life in this twisted-up fence” encapsulates Cross’s philosophy of accepting that life may leave you a little battered – but that’s its beauty.
Crush Me is Cross Record’s meditation on embracing the ambiguity of pain and the importance of understanding what it represents. This line from “Twisted Up Fence” perfectly sums up the record: “You say it’s an endless abyss, and I say, the abyss is the best.”
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